May 2 '12 at 21:00
- When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room.
- All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
- Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
- Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(),
he calls .DropKick().
- Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9.
- Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
- All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
- MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it).
- Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return.
- Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
- The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
- Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
- Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.
- “It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris.
- Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
- Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
- Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm.
- Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
- Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
- When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”.